I feel like this picture of me at the rock is a pretty good still shot of everything that has been going through my mind as of recently. There's no words to put my finger onto my personal feelings exactly - but maybe there is a general search for a more solid direction, searching right out into the wilderness. The way most people my age feel when they put on wedding rings, have babies and buy their first home. Somehow what I search for will need to be different, whether I chose it exactly or not.
When I was overlooking this rock the other day I started to hear screaming. Alot of screaming - the first sounds were startling, the second un-nerving, and the third was something borderlining the fear of death. It had to be a small bird of prey, crow or rabbit in desperate need...and I headed out along the trail to find it. What I found along the way of death screams were alot of beautiful fungus...
This first one was even blacker then in the picture- a dark dirt like disguise.
This next mushroom was bright red and soooo micro tiny in the ground... freakin' neato.
And one of my new favorites is this stuff that looks like coral growing on land instead of underwater. :)
I looked for a long time, following the injured and upset animal's cries - I even went home and got a snack and came back again. As much as it wanted help, it didn't want it from me personally and was evading my every step with a perfectly hidden agenda of it's own. Sometimes even though I know I can not be of any help and that nature knows what it's doing, I still can not help my own human nature by offering some kind of service. There's a balance that can be achieved by humans, where we can be care givers and not just destroyers (and sometimes one aids the other) - I realize we are not entirely out of place in the wild. It's like we've just forgotten what to do.
I never found the scream's origin, it felt like they were coming from the trees themselves, and everytime i got to one tree the next one would scream for help. Dramatic?! Yeah, whateva'...
at the very end I found fresh bunny poop and realized what it was and all was silent.