Tadpoles With Legs

In the words of comedian Eddy Izzard (British cross dresser)... "I've Got Legs!"

xoxo

Chicken Homicide: Who Done It?

My disabled chicken family has sunk into death like the freakin' titanic. I hadn't even gotten to take them over to my house yet cause the hen (with the funny cough) was sitting on a batch of eggs while my rooster (with the funny crow) was standing guard. Chickens are better then watch dogs, they will cause a HUGE fuss at the slightest provocation and I knew something terrible was happening when I heard a chorus of hen panic typified by rooster screams... I arrived to find this... Freaking gross! My broody hen had been murdered & was covered in stupid shit flies, her eggs were cracked and all that was left of my handsome rooster was the white feathers pictured behind the baby chicks (see below).

Of course some Sherlock Holmes and Watson action was required, with knives ready (cause who knows WTF animal it was) we searched around for evidence. We followed a trail to a neighbor's house to check their dog for feathers or blood, but found nothing. A hawk could have swooped down but the rooster feathers were all over the place like he'd been shook. Plus there was this...A bump under the fence and two wet looking rooster feathers on the outside right in front of the fence bump. Mmmmhmmmmm. Bobcat? Raccoon? Coyote? Neighbor's Dog?

My whole down trodden chicken family gone in one swoop. :(

xoxo

Farm Candy:The Mantis Tiller

My mom prays the rosary and watches late late night TV, sometimes sci fi and sometimes infomercials where she discovers brilliant inventions like the Mantis Tiller. Thanks Mom! I just got the gift that keeps on giving, cause unlike most after midnight inventions (not speaking of the snuggie of course) the mantis tiller is completely totally perfectly awesome in every way a tiller should be. My neighbor Cody came over and put the whole thing together in about 15 minutes... continuely chanting mantras such as "bad ass", "sweet", and "thank your mom for me personally"!

Everyone wanted a piece of dat' mantis...everyone! It's like the opiate of small farming, the best thing since sliced bread, the yummiest candy in the barrel, the ultimate adult toy.

I, of course, am scared to use it. I have to warm up to machinary, I have to watch others be tossed around, I have to build up the nerve - I am terrified the vibrating will give me a seizure. In the meantime the bonus is I am now the most popula' girl on da' farm with the best tiller on da' block ;) ----> Ehem... but oh the thing can till! Ya'll it was busting through grass like it ain't no thang but a chicken wang, it was making chunky soil turn smooth and well ground like sand. It turns an all day job into a 30 minute job and if you hold it right it can even make furrows (rows) for you! Tillin' in a free world!

PS- For those with chemical sensitivities, there is a mantis tiller that is electric with no emissions! ! !

GO Mantis Go!!! xoxo

Scooter Ride and Gluten Free Cookie

Today I went for a ride on an eco friendly scooter (the battery can be charged up electrically and it gets 100 miles to the gallon!) I felt like I was in some kind of romantic movie where the silly (national lampoon) Americans are touring the European countryside via moped... breeze blowing through your hair, bugs flying in your face, dirt in your eyes, hugging the driver tightly as it speeds up, and waving at every local passing by. Except this was just in my 'hood. These two old buildings at the end of Willow Creek Rd. would be the perfect place to have a thrift store. Right now it's a handcrafted broom studio.

I thought this beautiful tiny car was just my size! It said on the side it was a "midget".

Ya'll, if I wasn't excited enough about the awesome donkey I found yesterday, I found a whole 'nother donkey buddy today! She ran right up to the fence to greet me with her horse friend... I think I am a donkey magnet. It felt very beast master. (Please Gawd, send me my very own donkey.)

This barn and rickety silo are on Big Sandy Mush Rd. - it looks like a tower from a fairy tale. I want to climb to the top and let down my hair, or at least pretend to be prisoner. Oh Rapunzel!

These rocks are on the side of the road on Early's Mountain... it's sedimentary my dear. ;)The local dead reside here....

I ended my scoota' ride with gluten free cookies made with wild grown black raspberries!!! I picked the sweet berries right behind my house and used a Namaste cookie mix. Holy cow they were freaking good... mmmmm.

PS- Scooters (and cookies) are way better then cars. XoXo

Wrestling and Dancing

This is what I am looking forward to... ...the two best things to do on the weekend that anyone could have eva' thought of! Don't worry I will be bringing my camera & I am gonna sew a dress special for the dance. ;)
xoxo

Tractor Crossing

Where I come from, there are no tractor crossing signs. This sign is the coolest road sign I have ever seen. :) And here's some other stuff down the road from my house...

My new crazy donkey friend who I am sure felt our instant BFF connection as I did - I have been dreaming of having a small horse, mule or donkey to ride on as my main form of transportation. I can wear a blue sheet on my head and pretend to be the virgin Mary while I go to town ... jus' kiddin'. About the virgin part. And the mary part. Not the riding to town part.

See how twisty the road is, makes alot of people feel like they are going to barf trying to come see me. You can't see in the picture, but right on the road there was a dead corn snake.And apparently the teenage cows down the street are vampire zombies...don't look in those eyes, you will turn to stone!

xoxo

DIY: Native American Mat Loom

I am so excited about this native american craft project, cause not only was the mat loom freakishly easy to build and use - but it was free & works so well we've already made a few bad ass floor mats since yesterday! This primitive loom requires more then one person to operate because of it's size - 2 peeps or more is good.

BUILDING THE LOOM:
We built ours out of bamboo since that's what's growing around the house - some other type of wood or rods could be used also. The other materials you'll need are some kind of twine (string, fabric strips, hemp, jute, or whateva' floats ya boat) and something to make your mat out of (vines, grass, hay, bamboo husks, corn husks, cattails, dried reeds, ect...)

Step one: Hammer in six 3 ft high poles in a straight line- each one being 6 inches apart (Like in the pic above).

Step two: Hammer in two more 3 ft. poles 6 feet across from the other 6 poles. These should be totally even with the other poles creating a perfect imaginary rectangle (kinda looking like a tiny bed). VERY tightly tie on a cross bar to the two poles (as shown in the pic below).

Step three: You'll need 12 pieces of twine total. Tie the first six from the cross bar to each pole in the line of 6 (see pic below.)

Step four: Tie the remaining 6 pieces from the cross bar to another pole, stick, or rod (AKA "movable warp") - (see pics below of the process for reference, this is the thing that'll move up and down). These pieces need to be tied much further out then the poles because that twine will be used in making the mat - if your loom is 6 feet then tie the "movable warp" twine about 10 feet long.

MAKING YOUR MAT:

We used bamboo husks that fall from new bamboo shoots and organic cotton fabric scraps tied together. The possibilities are endless with what materials to use, so check and see what's available around your house.

Step one: One person needs to operate the "movable warp" (the part that moves up and down), and another person starts at the opposite end by shoving in the husks. Working with me here is Nikki and Bort - they are placing the husks in between the organic cotton strings and holding them tight while the "movable warp" stays up. Once it's in, the "movable warp" comes down. Pulling it very tight and firm, which weaves the husks into place.

Step two: This is how it goes...hold warp up and shove in husks...hold warp down to the ground and shove in husks...hold it up and shove in more husks...hold it down and shove in husks...

Keep repeating this with steady flow.
What happens is as you build on this pattern you'll see your mat quickly being woven - it isn't a long or hard process and it's especially fun to do while listening to the classic rock station on the radio. ;)
Step three: Once you get to the end of your loom, all that needs to be done is cutting the strings and tie off the ends. Cut them loose from the cross bar and from the "movable warp" like in the pic below.

This is what the mat looks like in the raw before trimming the edges to be uniform and straight. Me and Nikki are the farm hand version of Vanna White... Ta-da (the sounds of wind chimes and wheels of fortune!)

If it's good enough for Toots, then it's good enough for me. I am sitting on this soft cushy mat as I type this blog. :) Yay!

XOXooooo

Dragonfly (aka Mosquito Hawk)

In Louisiana dragonflies are called mosquito hawks... since they eat tons of mosquitoes. The sucky part is in New Orleans they also spray pesticides like hell from these trucks driving up and down every street to kill all the mosquitoes, which ended up killing the dragonflies too. I am assuming in the end of this lame equation you end up with the same amount of mosquitoes.

Mosquito hawks in the smokey mountains of North Carolina seem a little smaller then the big ones flying in the southern swamps (maybe since they aren't mutated by constant chemical spraying), but the butterfly like colors on this one are something I have never seen before! I love it. I hope it saves me from a few mosquito bites... ;)

XoXo

Bean Seeds: Buying and Planting

Buying beans in seed packets doesn't really get you all that many beans, especially if you are growing a garden that is supposed to feed you throughout the year. The neat thing is you can go to the bulk section of your organic grocery and load up on dried beans because those are the actual seeds for planting bean plants too. Ya end up with WAY the heck more bean seeds for crazy less money then buying small packs. You also get to choose from a huge bush bean & legume assortment not offered in seed catalogues, plus they'll be certified organic. :)

These won't come with instructions but generally speaking most bush beans only need to be planted 2-4 inches apart, and just give them a good cover of dirt not more the 1 inch deep. Watering seeds as you plant them can give um' a head start on germinating and just kinda seems like a nice thing to do for ya new little ones. This year I am growing kidney, black eye pea, mung, lentils, great northern, pinto and christmas lima beans...another reason to love bulk bins at the health food store. :)

XoXo

Toad, Prince In The Making

Well, Hello. (Clears throat...) My name is Cornilius Boobabum and if you kiss me I will not only be a prince, but in my regal human form I will continue to make this smug ass expression throughout our life together. Pick ME!

LOL. This toad really is almost cute enough to smooch if ya look at him in just the right state of mind, I mean check out those cool patterns, colors and camouflage markings. Not to mention the adorable way he holds his hands together (is that two thumbs down)... & nice frog legs.BTW- that's a boy holding the toad, not me. I am not that flat.

xoxo