Big Black Crow

They mean something to me, the crows.

I'll share the story why...

Back some years ago I was pregnant, and so sick after the first 2 1/2 months I could no longer eat, and eventually could hardly drink any water. When you are starving to death, creeping below 80 pounds, you become acutely aware of your surroundings, your spirit, your hormones spinning thoughts in repetitive patterns... and you become loopy, you hallucinate. I had a name picked out for the baby already, his name was going to be Orion Harold Richard- but as time/weeks drew on I could feel both me and Orion slipping away from life. I began singing a song in my mind, over and over, day and night like a broken record for over a week. Blackbird by The Beatles, and being that I had lost my mind from hunger and knowing what was to come, at that point I changed the baby's name simply to Blackbird in my mind.

When I got in the truck (still chanting the song in my head like a mantra) on the way to get an emergency surgery that would end the pregnancy and save my life, immediately a large flock of black crows came flying along side the road. I noticed and nodded. When me and the father of Orion/Blackbird parked outside the doctor's clinic waiting for the nurses and doctor to arrive giant black crows began landing right ON THE TRUCK! Literally- on the mirror next to me in the passenger seat, on the hood, flapping their wings at the dashboard, hopping on the ground around us. You could say I was in shock, comfort and awe. I am sure at the time I sounded insane to Orion's father, but I told him the blackbirds were there for me... he shook his head and asked me if i wanted to eat something. But what really went on inside me at that moment were two things:
*One, I realized that nothing lives or dies without being made up of parts of something else - the air i was breathing out would be inhaled by other creatures, plants and the crows making a fuss at my window, they would lay eggs, have babies, everything was a cycle of borrowed molecules.
*Two, I felt the soul of my own baby Blackbird, my Orion leave my body - it took my breath away and I couldn't explain that feeling to anyone.

After that experience, Each time I was going somewhere significant in my life the crows would show up, a flock that would fly in the direction I knew I belonged to be going. I would know I was going to the wrong home, back to the wrong life, if they flew the opposite way of my car. The big 'blackbirds' signaled when I needed to move on, when I needed to stay, and when I needed to be reminded I wasn't alone.

Now I live where they stay. Crows surround my house everyday, I find them in the fog in the woods, down by the creeks, in my trees, on my porch - swooping back and forth making their loud caw'ing sounds- telling me over and over that I am now home. I can finally stay somewhere and call it my own.


Xoxoxooxox Love U crows.

Screech Owl... oh my gawd I am the luckiest me I eva' was

If I told ya how I got this close to the screech owl, ya might not believe me... but I will tell ya'll the story anyway...
I heard a sound outside the house that I thought was my cat meowing for my help, so i stepped out onto the deck and made some lilting, soothing calls of her name - Toots. Suddenly I heard the trill call of the screech owl from the large pine tree, then saw the small owl spread it giant wings and fly across in front of me over to the apple tree. It made another soft trill (go here to listen to the sound) - which I copied back to it. We were talking... me and the owl in both our languages. I have no idea about what.
When I got right underneath it with my camera, after a few pictures it got nervous enough to fly into the more camouflaged branches of the apple tree, rather then sitting on top the lone dead branch.
I quietly walked along under the tree, continuing to talk 'trill' with it - long enough to take a few more pics and get to see it spread it's beautiful wings wide - then fly off, low to the ground and swoop up into another apple tree further up the hill.
According to superstition and the Native American beliefs {described by Tom Brown in The Tracker}, an owl only shows itself to you when someone is going to die. Literally.
...
I am still happy to see it, I have waited many years to be this close to an owl again.
"These common owls are fearless in defense of their nests and will often strike unsuspecting humans on the head as they pass nearby at night. When discovered during the day, they often freeze in an upright position, depending on their cryptic coloration to escape detection. The two color phases, which vary in their relative numbers according to geography, are not based on age, sex, or season.
Nesting: 3-8 white eggs placed without a nest lining in a cavity in a tree or in a nest box."

Read more about owls in your region at Enature.com!

XoXoxoxoxo hoo hoo!

Giant Red, Black and White Woodpecker

Ya'll would not believe how excited I was when this morning I saw this giant woodpecker fly right to a dead branch of a native Cherry Tree outside my window and start pecking! I have only had the privilege of seeing this type of woodpecker two other times in my life in the last 9 years of living in the smokey mountains - they are HUGE woodpeckers, the second largest in North America and are hard to stalk or get a glimpse of. This one was the smaller of the three I have seen (and is female), but just as powerful a presence and just as striking with it's strong colorful markings and red mohawk head.
They make loud wild jungle cries, which you can listen to at Enature.com... click here!
The first time I ever saw a Pileated Woodpecker it was tremendous, I had never seen a bird so big. I was living in Bethel, NC in the Pisgah National Forest, the woodpecker had landed on a wooden outbuilding behind the house as I had been quietly standing there. It had not seen me and we were hardly 10 feet apart, when it did see me it did not seem to care I was there- we locked in a long unifying stare that I could never put a time frame on. I was in awe and wished I could see another one like it after it finally flew off.
The second time I saw one of these woodpeckers I was sitting inside my tiny house in Marshall, NC which was also deep in the woods - some unpainted wood siding had just been put on a small portion of the house. I was totally alone when I heard something hammering so loud on the side of the house I thought a human was pounding the back of the house with a sledge hammer! It was deafening and scared the crap out of me. I slowly walked to the back of the house, as I heard more frantic hammering but I could hear no human moving around back there. When I got around the corner of the house, there was the giant woodpecker slamming away at the wood. I had got my wish to see one again. :)
Info from enature.com: "After the extremely rare Ivory-billed Woodpecker (Campephilus principalis), this is the largest woodpecker in North America. Despite its size, this elegant woodpecker is often shy and hard to observe. Obtaining a close view of one usually requires careful stalking. Although primarily a forest bird, the "Logcock" has recently become adapted to civilization and has become relatively numerous even on the outskirts of large cities, where its presence is most easily detected by its loud, ringing call and by its large, characteristically rectangular excavations in trees. Its staple food consists of carpenter ants living in fallen timber, dead roots, and stumps. The woodpecker excavates fist-sized rectangular cavities, then uses its enormously long, sticky tongue to reach the ant burrows...
17" (43 cm). A crow-sized woodpecker. Black with white neck stripes, conspicuous white wing linings, and prominent red crest. Male has red "mustache," female has black...
Lays 4 white eggs in a tree cavity."

XoXo

Update: Baby Birds!

Ha ha! Now that is a face! Remember the baby bird nest with eggs, and then little featherless fuzzy babies... NOW they have feathers. I only saw 3 birds in the nest this time, and there used to be four?Maybe one was stuck underneath the others, cause that nest is getting little tight for these guys! In fact the one squeezed in the middle looks like he's about to complain about the accommodations, that and maybe the fact that it's frustrating to not be able to fly yet!
It's pretty cool how fast birds grow, how magically our bodies know how to grow into specific things like bone and feathers, eyes and a beak. The mysteriousness always sucks me in like a hoover vacuum! The last picture below is the design of the nest, which was built against the wall of a tent covered bamboo hut. The bird started from the bottom up actually making a foundation for the nest first- all the way up to the typical nesting shape at the top. Pretty cool how it was improvised to fit the environment she chose!
XoXOooo

Bird's Nest: From Eggs To Birth (dat means baby birds!)

This bird decided to make it's happy home underneath the flap of a tent, which required it to make a sort of tornado design starting from a tiny bottom to the wider nesting top! That takes alot of extra work, but obviously nature is an instinctual art. Moss and leaves for insulation on the outside and tightly woven twigs and grass on the inside to hold her brick red spotted eggs.
I had to get on Bort's shoulders to take these pictures while he held open the flap so I could see in!!
A few short weeks later... deep down in the nesting hole is something fuzzy and special. :)
They were all asleep cause it was early in the morning, they didn't make a sound or hardly move. Just a little half open eye and slight wiggles. I had to stand on a chair and make it quick so that the mama bird didn't go into terrible panic.
I mean, oh my gawd. No words for the Keeeeyyyyyy-UTE-ness.
XoXOOxoxooxxoxxo So many kisses to these birdies I don't even know!

Baby Chipping Sparrows

A very naughty bad BAD cat (that is not mine and is really just being itself) brought two baby chipping sparrows into the house last night. Miraculously both the babies were unharmed except for some post traumatic stress and missing their mommy desperately. They actually were friendly right off- there was no pecking or screaming, just the constant tiny chirp sound and the insatiable urge to perch on my finger.

One was bigger then the other and alot more brave and noisy - it drank water and milk from a dropper easier, but neither wanted the smooshed up worm I tried feeding them.

I thought a box full of nesting materials would contain them but they are actually right on the verge of being able to fly - so they'd pop out the box, sit on the side and chirp. That's when Bort brought a bird cage up from the abyss of garbage around the house...We placed the cage outside and within about 10 minutes the mama bird showed up! Yipppeeee! Only prob was that the cage was too vulnerable to the elements (*ehem* cats) and couldn't just sit there open in the hot sun. You can see in the picture below there's a pink arrow pointing to the mom bird that showed up.We successfully moved the entire cage into the house to a high up isolated window, where the door could be shut and the mama bird could fly in and feed them. As wild as it sounds, it took about 5 minutes before the mama again located her babies and started bringing in caterpillars and stuff for them to eat, right inside the house. :)
They are 2 cute 2 be true! That's the first time I ever held a baby bird like that! We'll see what happens next...

XoXo

Hummingbird & Bee Balm

See the little pink arrow (in the pic below) pointing into what seems like the abyss of a pine tree? Right on the edge of that branch sits the hummingbird I was waiting for (see it now?), it was checking me out in my hiding spot, sizing up whether I really posed a threat to it reaching it's goal - the big burst of bee balm flowers it comes to feed on a few times a day. I don't know exactly how animals decide whether you are bad or good but I know if you stay extremely still & think nice thoughts it helps gain trust. The hummingbird made it's choice that me and my camera weren't going to do much of anything worthwhile and swooped down into the flowers for a feast! These are not the best pics in the world, but it was so exciting and exhilarating and fun to watch close up I could have exploded...
XoXo

Cardinal Crazies

This is Mr. Coo Coo Clock Cardinal. He's been at my window for about 5 days now... the first few hours were beautiful and I thought for sure he was just eating bugs out there joyously while singing. Then 24 hours passed and he was still at it, increasing his bravery, singing, and pecking hard at the glass. By day three I was about to lose my f-en mind because before the rooster could even crow Mr. Cardinal was banging at my window like an Alfred Hitchcock movie at it's frightening climax. I wondered if he was going to actually break the glass and when I shoo'ed him away he went and begin rounds of every window on the house - pecking in perfect strategic patterns (swoop down past right pane, bang the hell out of left pane, swoop to bamboo, sing, move on the next set of windows...). The cats inside the house were jumping in the air, but that didn't stop Coo Coo Clock - he just went on obsessing over that mysterious bird reflecting back to him in the window- from sunrise to sun down, rain or shine. Sometimes I don't know if he makes me sad or if I want to hold a cat out the window in his predictable path to catch him and put a deadly end to the insanity. He's made me laugh, he's made me cry, Coo Coo has made me even beg for mercy.Gawd help me to not wanna kill him. What do you do with a bird gone Edgar Allen Poe's the raven on ya ?

xoxo

Signs Of Spring Part 3: Birds & Bees in Flowers & Trees

Yay! The first really warm day of spring is here and although it can snow a few more times, the grass is still dead, and it's hard to imagine the trees will ever show their leaves again... it's 70 degrees today! Here are the pictures I took in celebration of the change of season.

XOXO