Injured Or Sick Crow

Today when i went to take JuJu the donkey for a walk, we came upon a big crow laying on the ground. At first I thought it was dead, i thought the movement in it's body was orchestrated by a million maggots and bugs eating it's insides... till I realized it's eye was actually blinking at me. I bent down and immediately touched it, so the black crow flapped it's good wing and favored the bad one that appeared to have scrapes on it.
I don't know much about crows, but after nursing two sick chickens this winter until their death it seemed the end for the crow was near. Pointing it's head into the air, something called "star gazing"... a creepy spiritual sort of movement they do when life is leaving their body. I still took it to my spring water to see if it had interest in drinking, and it did. That gave me a glimmer of hopeless hope.

I put the crow on some leaves in a box where it could be peaceful and safe, I started feeding it with a dropper- water and mushed up food, rice milk... anything it seemed to like.

It knew when i was going to feed it, and opened it's mouth like a baby in a nest.

Eventually it's one eye that wouldnt open, opened wide and it became very alert, less lethargic. But still the head turned around, pointing to the sky continued.....

My cat toots was curious about who was the latest patient in the blue box...

JuJu the donkey was more jealous the curious... she tried knocking the box over, stepped on my camera and also tried stealing the mushed up food for the crow.

Then once I spent far too long helping the crow, JuJu of course ran away!

The beautiful crow is still blinking it's eye at me, still breathing... but I expect not for long.

xoxoxoox

Big Black Crow

They mean something to me, the crows.

I'll share the story why...

Back some years ago I was pregnant, and so sick after the first 2 1/2 months I could no longer eat, and eventually could hardly drink any water. When you are starving to death, creeping below 80 pounds, you become acutely aware of your surroundings, your spirit, your hormones spinning thoughts in repetitive patterns... and you become loopy, you hallucinate. I had a name picked out for the baby already, his name was going to be Orion Harold Richard- but as time/weeks drew on I could feel both me and Orion slipping away from life. I began singing a song in my mind, over and over, day and night like a broken record for over a week. Blackbird by The Beatles, and being that I had lost my mind from hunger and knowing what was to come, at that point I changed the baby's name simply to Blackbird in my mind.

When I got in the truck (still chanting the song in my head like a mantra) on the way to get an emergency surgery that would end the pregnancy and save my life, immediately a large flock of black crows came flying along side the road. I noticed and nodded. When me and the father of Orion/Blackbird parked outside the doctor's clinic waiting for the nurses and doctor to arrive giant black crows began landing right ON THE TRUCK! Literally- on the mirror next to me in the passenger seat, on the hood, flapping their wings at the dashboard, hopping on the ground around us. You could say I was in shock, comfort and awe. I am sure at the time I sounded insane to Orion's father, but I told him the blackbirds were there for me... he shook his head and asked me if i wanted to eat something. But what really went on inside me at that moment were two things:
*One, I realized that nothing lives or dies without being made up of parts of something else - the air i was breathing out would be inhaled by other creatures, plants and the crows making a fuss at my window, they would lay eggs, have babies, everything was a cycle of borrowed molecules.
*Two, I felt the soul of my own baby Blackbird, my Orion leave my body - it took my breath away and I couldn't explain that feeling to anyone.

After that experience, Each time I was going somewhere significant in my life the crows would show up, a flock that would fly in the direction I knew I belonged to be going. I would know I was going to the wrong home, back to the wrong life, if they flew the opposite way of my car. The big 'blackbirds' signaled when I needed to move on, when I needed to stay, and when I needed to be reminded I wasn't alone.

Now I live where they stay. Crows surround my house everyday, I find them in the fog in the woods, down by the creeks, in my trees, on my porch - swooping back and forth making their loud caw'ing sounds- telling me over and over that I am now home. I can finally stay somewhere and call it my own.


Xoxoxooxox Love U crows.