I have had nothing to say.
Which is new for me. One of the reasons I write here (usually) every single day is because I want to share all the cool ass shit we can do while living sustainably, off grid, eco, primitive or whatevs label you enojoy giving it.
I havent been saying anything on here, because I have been in a sort of limbo that may not end till Spring time - when decisions must be made. I like to only write about good stuff, positive feelings, i like it to motivate, be happy --- none of which I could do the last few weeks in all the snow storms because everything I did to prepare here, kinda.... well.... started falling apart.
The plumbing does something new every single day. I told ya'll about the filter-splosion in the cabin that flooded it, but there has also been intermitten times of no water, then water, then no water in the outside pump even, only water up the side of the mountain, then water again, then drain pipes freezing so i had to stop dripping water (aka no water again) - drain pipes de-frosting and coming apart, flooding the floor again, no running water?
I DONT fucking get it anymore?!!!
And i can tell you it's not sustainable water anymore (even though gravity fed) cause unless i put "heat tape" on the pipes (which uses bunches of electricity) they will stay frozen all winter long.
So i was talking on the phone with a friend who was ready for me to stop complaining and buck up - she said something to the effect "you wanted to be off grid" ---->
but these problems are not related to being Off Grid. They are problems of location, lack of immediate help, and did i mention NO SUNSHINE whatsoever during the winter months.
Yep, i found out the hard way that my cabin is between two ridges and during the winter the sun is behind a ridge and i get none. Even cutting back trees wont do enough good, and i would have to cut back hundreds of them, ones not even on my land.
My Mistake :::::::::::
not knowing the sun pattern before buying the Luck Cabin.
I thought it got enough sun, even though it doesnt get tons... i had no idea the winter would mean utter darkness. And the reason I have said nothing for quite a while now is because i have been sitting in my rocking chair in front the wood stove comtemplating whether I can spend the rest of my life half a year in darkness. This prospect, after all i have put into being here at the Luck Cabin, and it's utter perfection at all other times of the year make me feel heartbroken in a way there have been and still are no words for.
I don't know many or really any people who could live without sunshine half a year.
------ the other part of this, is just right down my driveway is another climate. I literally am just a few hundred feet from a warmer climate. My driveway marks some kind of elevation change, where the tempature drops a significant amount, and i got twice as much snow & cold as people just a lil' ways below me. Yesterday I took my Jimmy truck dangerously down the road, only to see that I really was in some kind of isolated world, one that had a storm much worse then those just hop, skips, and jumps away - and this was a bit of a shock.
Two things I can NOT fix :::::::::::
the micro climate at the Luck Cabin
For many weeks I could not put my finger on it, I could not put into words how i was feeling. I only knew I was getting no sunshine here and was feeling really depressed. I had no intention of ever revealing this dirty little secret, my big sustainability mistake.... but eventually i began crying (thanks PMS) and had to confess to the first person that rang my phone in the middle of the nervous breakdown.
I think living this way alone is quite hard, but do-able. But if you choose to live off grid in a harsh winter climate alone, you are either brave, crazy or the uni-bomber!!! It's grueling. There is no question about it.
I now have a greater understanding of why re-wilders like Urban Scout are preaching community. Everything is much easier with a lil bit o' help. Especially in any climate that may have harsh storms during the winter.
Western North Carolina used to not have this kind of weather, not the last ten years I have lived here until last winter. I hear from locals it's been over 20 years since they have seen storms like this. So although I am kicking myself, at the same time how was i to know about the micro-climate PLUS the strange climate changes?
What would you do, if you were me?