Cabin FEVAH, the signs

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things I think may indicate I have cabin fever ::::

1. thinking too much

2. feeling like my body wants to jump out of itself

3. wanting sunshine so bad it feels like i lost a lover every day it's cloudy

4. my dancing becomes more angry looking and spastic (alot of hair swinging)

5. getting snippy with my cat when she claws up my leg

6. a hot bath feels better then anything in the world when the first foot goes in

7. continuous thoughts of running away, far far away

8. wishing for vices that would make me knocked out or drunk

9. spending too much time on the internet

10. wondering what all the other people my age are doing at this very moment

11. wondering if my life is passing me by cause i am not standing up and doing a project at that moment

12. contemplating how important brushing my teeth is if no one is coming by, but forcing twice a day

13. urges to drive all the way to town in the snow just to get a rice milk & see cute boys in the check out line

14. checking my arm pitt smell and analzying what it means

15. Ovulation becomes a tragedy of cabin cleaning and lust

16. i remember i am only human

xoxoxo

Winter's Close

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*
In spite of the fact that it snowed here again a few days ago, it is slowly melting, dripping and soaking the ground at this very moment. Spring wants to be here so bad. I can see it in the neighbors dog's coat which is flinging hair into the air, i can see it when i get close to the ground and tiny green things are coming up, so tiny i cant identify which wild plant they will be.... tiny inch worms coming out from under a leaf, then going back into hiding. Frogs croaking a mating call that sounds like women gossiping furiously.... then silence in the cold of the night.
I am ready. Of course, who isnt ready for this long winter to end? I am ready for the sun to tan and mark my skin, to exaggerate every freckle on my face, to give me energy while relaxing my soul.
The winter has been a weary sort of nightmare. I never really thought about it before hand but I suppose it was my first winter living in the woods, sustainable, remote and totally alone. I have been living in the woods over ten years now... most the time i had some partner (ah, boyfriends...i remember those!)... and during those years most of my sustainable living was just in the learning phases, it certainly wasn't this hardcore.
If you have a partner right now, at this very moment, be thankful - even if they suck in some ways... the only reason to not be thankful is if they suck so bad they dont even help ya carry in wood to stay warm. Otherwise, another pair of arms is like.... heaven during the winter!
Can we all do it alone? Probably shouldnt, but anyone half healthy can do it. Can we all stay sane living like this alone? I doubt most can. You might think I stayed sane... but i don't think i really stayed healthy in my mind throughout this semi-off grid winter.
Depression, exasperation, anger, resentment, insane laughter, cursing, frustration ... were all my friends. You could even say they were my partner, since there was a void to fill where no extra helping hand existed. Anger might motivate me to keep pushing through the snow, anger would say "don't stop now, don't let the snow get ya! the snow will not defeat you!", as i pushed up a mile long steep hill carrying so much food on my tiny back I thought i would break, but instead got hypothermia. All the emotions we like to dub as "bad" and "negative" are great motivators. I kept from falling asleep with hypothermia in the the snow by yelling out things into the empty frozen air - things i resented in my life, i released them, and changed them soon as i got home.
*
Now, snow drips, melts - it tries to wet my last pile of firewood... since the ice ripped off the gutters on the cabin a while back. Wet wood, does not keep you as warm, wet wood is annoying but I will burn it regardless. I have gotten to the point that i can light a great fire with using only one single match to begin with. YAY! i think... that matters? But only if i choose this way of life.
*
Did a winter of slipping on snow and ice, fainting, cutting my hand, cursing frozen water, cursing a dirty body, and being snowed in away from humans make me not want to live this way? Does it make me want to be back in the city in central heat and TV?

No fucking way!
When the city lights go out and there is no heat, i am still warm and cooking on my wood stove.
To put it crudely.... ya know how people say "once you go black you never go back"...
*ehem*
well, its kinda like that, but with nature.

xoxoxox

Looking for a Bath... Finding Adventure? Alotta Angels?

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Not having a bath for a month, motivated me to get out from the cabin one more time, before this week's set of snow storms arrive tonight!



xoxox

Fixing My Spring Water... In The Dark

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Most of ya'll know by now, i have been having every water problem thinkable since winter started. The last few days I had an increasing problem with sediment coming from my outside pump (cause of course my inside water has been frozen for weeks)- there was not just a lil dirt in my drinking & cooking water, but a dead salamander so decayed it's legs were gone, large pieces of bark and leaves, and the clincher that sent me out into the night... little shavings of plastic with bits of plumbing glue on it (somehow from back when the piping was put underground.)
I will drink salamander decay water ANYDAY over plastic!!!!!
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xoxoxox

Snow Walk (ft.) JuJu the Donkey

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Me and JuJu went for a walk today in the snow, looking for sunshine and finding other fun stuff like turkey tracks, ice in the creeks, pretty waterfalls of water.
But then JuJu runs off with some kids and I have to go find her in the dark.



Xoxoxox

PLumbing-Splosion!!!!!!!!

This morning I woke up to the sound of rain! Loud pouring rain that almost soothed me back to sleep, but then I was so excited to see that the snow may be melting I had to sit up in the bed I made in my loft, to look down to the windows. Only....
there was no rain!
I started my way down the ladder, with even more excitement thinking, OH YES my pipes have defrosted and I have running water again for the first time in 2 weeks!!!!!!!
But....
when I got down the ladder to my horror my cabin was flooding, with all the water I had wished for everyday. I had my wish, but it was pouring out with force by the gallon onto the floor from underneath the sink somewhere. I pulled out my stove as fast as i could to get a better look only to see the stupid sediment filter had cracked to pieces! Because it has been so COLD in my cabin (without having insulation yet) that not only did my plants melt and die, the water had froze in my tub to ice, but now my filter had cracked and was spewing all over.
I ran outside, slip sliding through slushy snow, scampering under my house to find the shut off valve - which i assumed would be right at the water source before it comes into the cabin... but...
it wasn't there. No. Shut. Off. Valve!
I began ripping plastic vapor barrier off the under side of the cabin only to be deluged in waterfalls of water that had been filling up in the plastic, water down my sleeves and on my face, wetting my hair - while cramped under the cabin. No. shut. off. valve.
I ran back inside, tried dumping buckets, but it would fill faster then I could ever dump. I ran my hands along the pipe lines feelings for something, anything that could save me.
I went back under the house to poke holes in the vapor barrier only to slip and hit my hand on a rock and cut myself. Open cut, bleeding. Grrrrrrrrr!
Now...
it's times like this i realize, i am alone out here. Water is pouring everywhere, coming right through the siding of my cabin, dripping out the outside wall. Just the day before I was punching icicles off the Luck Cabin and cursing the bad winter, begging the universe that be to PLZ melt this shit. OK, so i didn't mean quite like that!
........
I went inside to look at the pouring filter, to write down what size & type it was, since it was obvious a new filter case would be a possible answer to this bullshit moment (not a good solution, just A solution). I have to say I never really liked the idea of a filter, I find that EVERYTHING that is more advanced, everything that is dependent on the system, everything similar to things like filters causes more problems in the end. I cursed the filter, and decided my gall bladder can be my water filter.
But....
while getting soaked under there, i put my hand underneath the sediment filter and.. FELT THE SHUT OFF VALVE!!!!!!!!! hiding!!!!!!!!
Turned off the water.
............................................................
Lessons :

• Pex piping still didnt break or come apart in the bad sub zero weather and was good! Pex RULES!
• Cabin needs insulation or this is totally insane
• Filters mean more money, more problems, more environmental waste and break easily in the cold (AKA, i am removing the filter.)
• Gravity fed spring water.... needs proper shut off valve somewhere OUTSIDE cause you can't stop the water flow. Also,the water keeps on flowing during sub zero weather which is good. I think the shut off should always be right at the very beginning of the pipes that are going to the house, right where the water comes up out the ground.
• No matter how much you prepare, shit happens. It is life.

SONG FOR THE DAY:

XOxoxoxo

My Snow Freak Out and My Snow Luv...

It's been snowing for days. The first day was novel, not so cold I could see my own breath inside my cabin (yet), I crocheted, I hung out with Bort, I even went for a short drive down to the Trust Store (i have never driven in snow before, even though I have lived here for 10 years!)....
But dang it... 3 days and still snowing the temperature dropped, and dropped. Finally my spring water froze in spite of pipe dripping & obsessive precautions, the wind chills hit -15 degrees in my county, and I worried for my animals!
*
I brought ms. Butterworth inside because she was the only chicken shivering and not mentally capable of seeking out water & things to fulfill her needs. She's very happy by the wood stove again...
When I went out this morning to check on everyone else, someone was missing and I noticed right away. Beep Beep the baby chicken. I freaked. Under pressure I stay quite calm, I don't lose my mind but I do get very upset and cry and when I called for Beep Beep for 10 mins and she never showed up I thought the worst. All the other chickens were staying warm in their coop and nesting boxes, Beep Beep was nowhere in sight. I kept seeing R.I.P BEEP BEEP in my head, like it had already been tattoo'ed distastefully to my shoulder. With all the snow, and her being mostly white I felt like I was looking for the impossible to try tramping around in the snow- it had piled up enough inches overnight to have buried a small chicken.
I was about to give up and was walking out the gate, when instincts had me slam it back shut and quickly walk through the wooded area in the fence, across the spring and into the trees. My eyes felt like animal eyes, the ones that spot things better then normal... and that is when I saw her... poor lil' Beep Beep sitting on a small tree branch, freezing cold all alone, out in the open.

I grabbed her and hugged her to keep her body warm, as she shivered. I brought her right to the barn for warmth, food and water - all of which she was frantic about getting. I had never seen frozen poop on a chicken's ass till this moment. That's how cold it was. Poop-cicles.

*

JuJu the donkey is getting much more feed then normal so she can create more body heat.

She also wanted to send out a reminder:::

Do Not Eat Yellow Snow. It's Not Lemon Flavuh. ;)

THE BEAUTY OF IT ALL::::

The cold is painful to me. Maybe cause I am so small, maybe cause my DNA is that of cajuns who lived in the hot tropical swamps- never the less, I hate the cold but love the beauty, the way it re-sculpts the landscape.

Xoxoxooxxx

Ready, Aim, CHoP!

It's that time of year again, when a few chilly nights are the wild's warning of the soon to come winter. My source of heat is wood, in a Treemont wood stove that was already here at the Luck Cabin when I moved in. I lucked out cause it holds a coal overnight, and that means I won't have to start a new fire every morning, which may be one of the harder things about heating with wood.
but not the hardest.
The hardest for me would be splittin' those logs into firewood! Remember last year when I was just learning how to really do it right? Weighing in at about 100 pounds (that would be me) made splitting wood with an ax something of a zen practice more then force.
I set up the log in a stable place and take a good look at my aim. I don't have tons of extra energy to waste on missing my mark, I have to make my swings count.

I am using a "Go Devil" type ax (heavy sledge hammer-ish shape on the back end), which works WAY better then the standard tree chopping ax. I figure if i start splitting a few logs a day now, by the time the real cold comes I will be ahead of the game unlike last year which was a harsh HARSH winter that caught everyone off guard.

It may take me way more swings then I would like (check my swing style I learned last year here) and my wood may still be a lil' green (aka- not totally dry)... but it's way more efficient, good exercise, and saves alot of money to spilt the logs myself. A stack of logs a day keeps da' doctor away!

How do ya'll stay warm for the winter and what do you think is the most earth friendly way to heat your home?

XOxoxoox

Drawing In The Snow

The snow storm here in western North Carolina didn't turn out so bad this time, although the pipes froze for the 2nd time and busted, we still have power, phone, internet... and the cold just doesnt seem as frigid as it once did. The sun shining on the snow however was SO bright it was burning my eyes and I had to put on some sunglasses to even be able to look around without teetering on the border of snow blindness with burnt retinas.
I considered making a snow sculpture but decided to draw... (drawing in snow is a good lesson in impermanent art...). And even though I am a trained artist who could draw something awesome, instead I did these cause everyone knows that everyone else loves simple drawings of a naked lady, butterfly, love, a bunny and sunshine! So enjoy...
Feel free to put in requests, before the snow melts.

XoXo

Oh S(no)w, Not Again!

We are at the very beginning of the 3rd big snow storm/freeze this year! Since this is predicted to be much bigger then the one that knocked out all power and contact with civilization for a week I thought I would try to jinx the storm by saying my possible internet goodbye's now...
or is that like, way too dramatic? ;)

According the news "North Carolina is gonna get smacked!"
Gawd and baby jeezus help me cause in less then an hour an inch has fallen and we have about 48 hours more to go of "heavy snow"....
but then again, it's like a scary roller coaster - it's just not really as frightening the 2nd and 3rd time around.

Toodles.

xoxo

Wall Of Ice

Oh, Pretty! Ya'll know how I love ice, and the way nature sculpts it with cold, wind, snow, and water running down the hills.
The thick layers of ice bubbles are so awesome on this rock wall!
Yippieeee! One big goofy smile= two thumbs up!
XoXo

DIY: Threadbanger Scarves!

Here is a lil Threadbanger Scarf project/video to keep you thinking warm upcycle thoughts during these cold days! What I would do to change this DIY project up to make it more compatible for the real winter cold, is instead of using old t-shirts to make these neat scarves I would use old wool, mohair, cashmere, hemp, etc sweaters either in your closet, a friends closet or at your local thrift store. The t-shirt fabric will not keep ya warm during the dead of winter ( makes a good transition into spring creation tho) - for immediate use choose something truly warm to cut up!



XoXoooooo

Nature Made Ice Sculpture(s) Part 2

After last night's 10 degree freeze the ice formations turned their creativity up a few notches - creating bubbles, drips, swords, sheets, icicles, swallowing branches and coating rocks. The endless abstract sculptures actually made me forget that my finger tips, lips and nose are freezing into numb useless extremities...at least for a little while. Check out the shapes I found while out in the woods collecting firewood...
Dat's me behind some ice that created a giant frozzel bubble around a big stick in the stream...
NOw... How did it make that blop freeze upward? From a drip? How wild!

This last one is the most interesting phenomena - the wet mud shoots up these lines of ice that kinda look like a rock formation or maybe Superman's home planet. :)
XoXoooox

Nature Made Ice Sculpture

And.... Lift Off!

XoXo

Guessing Game!

Ya'll know how I love things in nature that look like something else... sometimes it looks like multiple other things (bio-mimicry, baby!) Take a lookie at this object in my hand above and try to guess what it is...I can tell you these hints:
1. When I first saw it I thought it was not what it turned out to be.
2. Nature made it.

Tell me what you think it looks like and tomorrow I will tell ya what it is.

XoXo

The Naked Winter Woods

While winter may open up the views, cleanse the earth, and tone down the bright colors into a meditative gray... I have the hardest time adjusting to this season because of the cold. I can see the fantastic beauty but I can hardly stand my freezing cold toes under the the thick socks and boots, my Cajun DNA has no clue how to get motivated for many outdoors adventures! When I look at the naked trees day after day I will confess to ya'll that by mid january I struggle to not go insane. This is why winter is a good time for being creative on a personal level, a time to discover and pursue hobbies, to make wish lists, to form new dreams, and to spend too much time on the internet reading each other's blogs. ;)
Please share with me your winter time hobbies, so I can get extra inspired to do something other then put wood on the fire and hold my hands over the wood stove like a slave to the heat! Oh, and check out the stark beauty and lines of winter in these pics....
XoXo

Sustainable Farm Chores: Gathering Kindling For Winter Heat

It's time to start preparing for winter! The less luxuries of the modern world you have the more physical work you have to do in order to keep some basic necessities going - like heat in the winter. Today was perfect beautiful warm fall weather for breaking sticks for kindling - what I kept thinking as I did it was when the winter really sets in this would be alot harder to do. This is the kind of work that is meditative, relaxing, productive and gets your body moving without being extreme. I have a hunch that it's most fun to do with another person around though. After filling the first bucket I was yearning for some conversation or Fleetwood Mac. :)
These branches are from trees already fallen or cut down by someone. Most of what I cut up here are apple tree branches - the wood is kind of papery and will probably light fairly easy. I even got all anal with it and made two sides, one for wide pieces and one for the tiny sticks.
XoXo

Transition Into Winter

I like to watch nature take it's course, and there is beauty even in the decay that comes when fall leads into winter.