My Frost Knife CAme Back To Me!

I had lost this knife at the end of the summer, while chasing JuJu the donkey (back before we learned to walk together peacefully without me pulling the lead rope.) I lost it in what could be considered a needle in a hay stack... a green handled knife in an endless pasture, so big I could just vaguely re-trace the steps where I had run.
The knife was sentimental to me, and sentimental to the person who gave it to me... plus I had just had it professionally sharpened by the bearded man who taught spoon carving classes (link here!) It was so sharp I hardly had to touch the tip to anything and it would slice it open.
So when my neighbor pulled up today and opened the glove compartment saying "I have something for you"... i was ecstatic, full circle, aligned stars, lucky excited! He told me it had been run over by a bulldozer, but he found it anyway because he was using a metal detector.
He had the blade wrapped in a paper towel and told me sweetly "Be careful, that knife is sharp."
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My primitivist, rewilder, survivalist, nature buddies out there will understand how cool this reunion is, a knife is the tool we all carry all the time. Sometimes accidently on our belts in public places (oops, sorry thrift store, sorry grocery, sorry remote corner store, i forget!)
YAY, to a happy ending. :))
xoxoxoxo

Backing Away From Society

Before I ever had health problems, before I ever found myself submerged in nature unknowingly following a path into a reclusive life... long before the change really started I never was very good at "fitting in" to society's standards. Looking back it all seems like superficial steps, practice steps, maybe baby steps into the life I would inevitably later lead - choosing the wrong kind of clothes, choosing the wrong things to say at the wrong time, the wrong music, the wrong color lipstick, the wrong haircut, the wrong colored date for the school dance.

Society always seemed to have this thumb pressing down on the very nature of the human heart, and while pressing down hard it seemed there was a voice saying that unless I gave into the demands, commands and expectations I would get squished by the giant civilized thumb. If I obeyed the thumb it would let off the pressure (a forever promise), the message being that "fitting in" was all one could choose if they wanted to be "happy" in this life.

Problem was, I saw right through the facade of all the people who had heeded to the thumb. They were not happy either - that small bit of observation alone was enough to send me searching, even if was just for a darker shade of lipstick at the corner store. But when my health led me to a drastic change in plans (aka- WHat? You mean I am not going to be a famous artist with one kid married to another famous artist living in NYC?) I found a new freedom, a freedom only nature seemed to give me.

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I was diagnosed with a rare & severe form of Celiac Sprue (autoimmune disease) around age 22. I have mentioned this before and I mention it again because it was the turning point that led me to the near utter rejection of all things connected to the outside world. Outside world being, modern civilized white picket fence, windex spraying, fine (gluten) dining, consumer monster society. This was a world I already had trouble having a toe in, much less a foot in the door. Once I got sick the not-so-hypoallergenic door was slammed shut, because there would be certain social activities (like going out to eat or enjoying holidays meals) I could never be a part of again, period, finis, over.

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Nature though didn't care. Nature has no judgement or obligatory feelings. The forest celebrates everyday in the same way, and has no concern for it's kindness or cruelty. The butterflies, the crawling insects, the opossums don't go X-mas shopping, don't go on dates, grab a beer or go out to eat. They don't care if you can have babies, or if you have a real job. In fact, the more I look(ed) at the natural cycle of life, not manipulated by humans, the more life opened up and seemed to have a safe place for me after all. It was human society that had created a modern, domesticated, civilized world that I couldn't quite fit into... so I slowly, and sometimes reluctantly backed away from "normalcy", from the high expectations of a tribe I could not force myself to function in (for the sake of my health and the rest of me).

*

I really believed Janis Joplan when she said "freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose" because at my lowest points I felt the most free from the enormous thumb of society. The less I had the less I would fret, the less I was protective of, the less I had to defend or justify. At the same time, I learned that having nothing can also be a hardship which forced me to vacillate between hating modern life and using modern life in a manipulative way to get what I wanted.

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What did and do I want?

To set myself up to not need society anymore.

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It is not just a survivalist thing, or a rewild challenge, or even just an eco friendly way to live. It's a way to avoid the thumb of society and the people who individually make it a (ass)whole- the judgement that burns your back as you walk away from a scolding neighbor, or a cold stare from the people in suburbia who not only have gave into the thumb, but went ahead and shook hands with the big ogar.

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But I dont mind being a threat to civilized & structured patterns. In fact, there is some kind of purpose and drive in ruffling up the straight line I was told to walk, a drive that reaches into my spirit in the purest form and says "keep going!"

I can say with all certainity, I am never turning back.

Not because I can't, but I don't want to. My back will stay facing the eyes of our harsh society in full protest to their robotic way of living. Even if sometimes I ask my very soul "WTF, why is THIS the path to choose? Why wasn't I just one of them?"

xoxoxo

Splitting Logs, ft. JuJu the Donkey

I know. I am almost obsessed with splitting wood, luckily it's a healthy 'hobby' that will build muscle, get my heart working, make my lungs take deeper breaths, give me strong fingers and arms... and then heat my house without causing a huge heating bill this winter. Saving money is sweet, and so will be cooking on my wood stove.

Here is a short video I made yesterday morning while starting to split logs... the big wood pile to my left is what I had split the morning before. The big donkey who appears is JuJu. :)



xoxoxo

Skinning A Chipmunk

Another case of "oh my god look what the cat dragged in" but instead of living my life "sin after sin" against nature I realized this nearly untouched but dead chipmunk would be the perfect opportunity to learn to skin an animal. It seemed like such a waste that my cat killed it without even eating it...even though I know various bugs and some other forest animal could scavenge the body.
No better school though then the school of life, alone, with no teacher to show you the right way, just silly survival books with crappy drawings on skinning small critters.

I tied the chipmunk with hemp twine to a pine stick I found on the ground. Then I hung it up for better leverage.

I won't lie, I was trying to multi-task while doing this... I was on the phone with my sister, and going back and forth with my donkey giving her ginger candies. Which is why I probably made my first mistake...

I thought I'd just cut down the belly, but it was hard to penetrate the skin and when I pushed hard enough, some organs started poppin' out like bubble gum slowly filling with air. Then blood dripped and I was totally unsure if I was doing it right...

I took it down to take some time to think, and realized having it hanging up gave the tension, pull I needed to actually cut into the skin. And that I needed to cut somewhere else.

THE SUCCESS:

I decided to cut around the feet (full circle) then a line up each inner thigh all the way across.

And PULL!

and pull HARDER... the skin pealed off.I realized that puncturing the belly was a bad mistake, because the more I had pulled the skin, the more organs were falling out, the more blood...which got on the fur. I left the rest of the chipmunk for the creatures of the forest, away from my porch.

I had to rinse the blood off the chipmunk fur in the kitchen sink, then put it out to dry.

I am really kinda amazed at how simple this is. If any of ya'll have done it before I would really love tips from a expert!

Also, any ideas on what can be made with tiny chipmunk fur? I was thinking about a bracelet, but wish I could think of something more functional.

XOXoxxoxo (dont worry I washed my hands before these hugs and kisses!)

Boiling Chestnuts

I know I told ya'll I was going to roast the chestnuts I foraged for in my 'hood... but since I didn't have a pan big enough to lay them all even & flat in the oven, I decided to try and just boil them in some spring water. (This project was NOT a fail either! It's SOooooo Delicious. YAY!)

ALL YOU NEED:

• chestnuts
• a knife
• water
• a pot

What I read and have been told numerous times is that chestnuts can explode while cooking. I've been told this same thing about sweet potatoes and never seen it happen... but I decided the chestnuts seem more like a bomb.

STEP ONE: Take a sharp knife and draw a lil' X on each chestnut to keep it from exploding. This also makes it way easy to peel open after they are done cooking!

STEP TWO: Dump all your X'ed chestnuts into boiling water. Let them boil for about 20 minutes.

STEP THREE: Peel open at the X and eat dat' yellow-ish nut on the inside. It's GOOD! Make sure you dont eat the funked out rotten gray ones (or at least I didn't cause they smell sour and bad).

It's so good, I ate them all at once. I couldnt stop!!! I felt like a f'en squirrel. :)

I have to go back to that tree and see if there's more...

xoxoxox

Edible Forest: Indian Cucumber Root

I have to confess. Sometimes I am scared to try new foods in the forest because I have so many digestive problems from damage caused by Celiac Sprue...but the wild woman in me can not help but want to learn about every single plant that grows around my cabin. Today my curiosity took a stronger hold and I decided to actually take a taste of the Indian Cucumber root.

These are pictures of the Indian Cucumber plant, growing wild in the woods - since it is the Fall season the plants are looking less then perfect (in the Spring they look more healthy and vigorous).

The multi-leafed plant shoots up a smaller tower of less leaves where it flowers and makes this little dark 'berry' (see below), which I assume is the seed case. (I doubt that seed berry is edible, does anyone know for sure? DO NOT eat anything in the wild unless you know without doubt it's edible!)

You can use just your fingers to dig up the root, which isn't all that deep into the ground. The root is very tiny though so it takes a lil' care to make sure you find it.

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Bright white and just like it's name sake... it tastes ALOT like a cucumber! In fact, it tastes just like a cucumber but with a really delicious sweet flavor added to it....

mmmmmm.....

so good.....

I go cross eyed.

Thank you tiny cucumber for helping me overcome my fear of trying random edibles in the forest.

Read more info on the INDIAN CUCUMBER ROOT here.

xoxoxoxo

Movie Review: Into The Wild

"I love not man the less, but Nature more." - Lord Byron

After many suggestions from commenters and friends and even strangers I finally got a hold of Into The Wild... only not in the book form but in the well done hollywood movie version. I know, people who have read the book say the movie is not as good but here goes my opinion....

This movie reduced me to raw emotion, tears, and gripped my attention right from the beginning - while I expected just to be watching a simple survivalist movie, I had no idea how much of Christopher Mccandless's family life was going to be included --- these modern family dilemmas and the parents living the suburban dream, plus using school and material wealth as their love language to encourage Chris for success were things that hit so close to home for me, I actually felt myself squirming uncomfortably right from the start. I was so drawn in, and am so close to his generation, concerns and struggles that I was his personal cheerleader from the beginning of the movie...
I understood the contrasts he saw, the acceptance he learned, the hardships, the fun, the realities of society, and I even understood why he would want to go out into the wilderness and be at peace. But I did not understand why he chose to go to Alaska (maybe the book explains this more?) - why he chose to show up in such harsh terrain with little to no training in survival? Surviving on the streets, dessert, farms, rural areas with other humans around is so different from the remote wilderness - nature does not choose favorites, nature is kind and harsh equally.
I had to really think about myself at 23 years old again, and how we feel, how we think we won't die, how we think we have all the details under control, how the greater risks are increased just by being the adult, and we choose greater adventures that we are drawn to cause finally no one can stop us.
I found his love to be penniless, his kindness to all people, and his willingness to try things he feared to be inspirational and poetically lived. Being penniless was not about being poor, but rather about freedom - he came from good money and had felt trapped, sometimes it takes sacrificing all that is at your fingertips in order to realize what you have never did control you in the first place - rich or poor, there are things to accept and appreciate.
He spends nearly the whole movie living out the realization of freedom (not realizing running away also is a type of trap) , and finally the end of this movie was redeeming, full circle ... but jesus christ it was so sad I could hardly sleep last night after watching it.

I would like to point out part of a quote Christopher had written (as his hitchhiking alter ego Alexander Supertramp) when he first arrived in the alaskan wilderness :
"No longer to be poisoned by civilization he flees, and walks alone upon the land to become lost in the wild."
These words from him stuck out to me, because I relate and I see irony- poison is in nature too, and he finds that out. It seems at times nature is the kind one and man is cruel - but man is another piece of nature.
Where ever you are, it is how you live it, it is how you respect it, it is how you treat others... and 'others' are not just humans but every spec of life on earth. That is what this movie (this person's life) seemed to be about in the end.

PS--- here below are pictures of the Christopher McCandless (not the actor from the movie but the real person) on his adventures. There is no doubt in my mind I would have just loved this guy had I met him - just like everyone else did.
XoXo

Book Review: Hatchet

I think I have a 'thing' for survival books, especially if they are a true story (although fiction is fine by me too!) Possibly it is because I am living in someone's house who has a great love of survival books so when I go to find something to read it's like choosing which 'boy becomes man' adventure novel that looks the coolest.

Hatchet ---> I read this book in one evening plus one morning before getting out of bed, it was not only a easy read but the adventure was something difficult to put down. So engaging is the true story that you don't realize you are even hungry or have a life outside of reading this book... until the character is stranded after a plane crash and starts describing his hunger so thoroughly that my own stomach growled too.
One of the neatest things about Hatchet was the boy survives in ways I would not have even thought of, and for a 13 year old facing death he is pretty freaking crafty! I wondered if when I was 13 could I have survived something so incredible as to be months in the wilderness without so much as a pack of matches to start a fire? Not unless I was Snow White and coulda lured animals into my arms... even if I did watch tons of TV like the boy Brian in Hatchet did (which he uses to figure out ways to survive).
His survival and his quick learning of the forest is really impressive, most amazing is how intuitively he learns to understand the behaviors of the creatures around him (bears, wolves, moose, etc). Not to mention, his rescue rocks.
All these years later it looks as though Brian never fully meshed with normal society again (he was from New York City afterall, then was living like Tarzan all alone, I wouldn't mesh either)...
follow up books exist! See here.

Anyone have other suggestions for fun survival books? True or not. :)

XoXO00