Ritual-less Ritual

Change. It's not just the seasons... it's another one of those things that happens inside me, something that feels like I made it over a hurdle I didn't even know i was jumping. Then i am free'd by the feeling of my feet hitting the ground. Not Running. Standing still, seeing, watching, learning.

All my life people have thought I was a free spirit and most my life I have felt largely trapped by this, that and the other... something always holding me back (usually I could blame the stagnation on my health). It's not some kind of hippy thing, like I am going to fee myself by joining a nudist colony & OM'ing... it's inside me. Something that says, I am free to have what i deserve, free to seek what interests me, free to look in the mirror and like what i see no matter what the world may see, free to love what i love, free to run around a big fire with headphones stuck in my ears & dance. And no one is watching. No needs to be.

I never was good at religion, rituals, worship or agreeing with the Pope. And I'm still not. I wouldn't even make a good witch. My religion is watching the fire with a smile, having enough food and being thankful for it, having a place to live that reminds me of what heaven would be like (at least during the better seasons), and hell during the winter. Trials of sacrafice and empowerment in simple tasks, like staying warm, finding friends in a remote location, getting behind the wheel of a car and finally being able to drive again.

And freedom for me = i can get my feet dirty. Completely black.

XOxoxoxoX