My Chicken Sneaks into the Window for Cat Food

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xoxox

Wishes and Freedom

(picture, 1997-ish, age 20 -- Tunica Hills, LA.)

Do you ever feel trapped by the flow of your own life? Things are going just as planned, in fact you might even be getting some of the things you wished for... and of course when you get those, you wish for more things. Or say nothing is going as planned, it's a big mess and so you want to escape.

I have noticed that humans (myself for sure) tend to go from day to day building up a life, building brick upon brick, foundation, into walls, into personal castle. It seems as though we are building something great, it feels quite safe and accomplished to have something worked on for so long. It's your inner self, the castle... your beliefs, your lifestyle, all your choices, your personality and day to day reactions. And you are really invested in it, of course.

But I... don't know if my castle matters. My opinions are like the wind. I don't know if having the goal of being perfectly stable and predictable is healthy, worth it, or even fun. I don't know if once my castle is all built if i even care to decorate the inside or move in... maybe i just like to go from place to place building new castles, trying out new things, taking risks. Rather then get attached to what i built.

It's not that i don't like myself, or that i don't like my lifestyle. It's that something inside me, some soul-like substance is always driving me to new experiences and I can't really stop it. I have spent the last ten years working on living a sustainable life in the woods, and I have accomplished more then I ever thought I would. It started because I was sick with horrible health problems and then I fell in love with every blade of grass, every wildflower, every rock... i had slowed down enough to merge with nature. And nature taught me how to truly love. But now... i want something else -and i am not referring to city living, but more a coming out of the foggy patterns my health put me in. I want to merge with nature, people, reality, the world, my own health, my own potential - the full picture. I don't have to focus only on one wish, i want a bigger picture,

i want freedom to seek the picture and all it's contents.

XOxoxo

The FOG

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Ride with me through the creeeeepppppy SPooookkkY fog!
It's so beautiful, you will want to reach out and touch it, like a bug goes towards a bug light.



xoxoxo

FAIL! Seasoning My Iron Waffle Skillet

Um. I dont know what went wrong with seasoning this thing, but here is what happened : My mom sent me this awesome cast iron waffle skillet, that you can use on any hot surface! No electricity required - you can cook on top your gas stove, wood stove, probably an open fire. So... it came unseasoned, ya know... without the blackened oiled non stick natural surface it acquires after use. So i pulled out the pamphlet and read that i had to oil it and then put it in the oven to start the seasoning. Ok. Not too hard, I hoped. So i put olive oil all over it and stuck it in my toaster oven. It wasn't long before I turned around to see what the fucked up smell was, that the whole cabin was filling up with a heavy thick white smoke!!! The waffle skillet had some kind of waxy shit on it ( i thought i felt on it but wasn't sure), that had to melt off and so I assumed the smoke was the wax burning... i had no idea it would pollute my house so bad! ...... so i tried something else..... At this point I figured most the mystery wax must have been gone (mostly now in my lungs and cabin ceiling)... so i let the oil sit in the skillet for a few days, thinking maybe it would absorb. But it didn't. Then i stuck it on my wood stove since i had a fire going and it was majorly hot. It still made really bad weird smells - but no smoke so I was cool with the mildly donut shop/mildly metallic/mildly 'what is that melting' stench. BUT then THIS HAPPENED!!!!! Look at these pictures! (above and below!) .... OMgawd, this is not was it is supposed to look like. One side of the skillet turned all orange red and looks not at all seasoned. The other side, WTF is that gelatinous substance? It's got a red black tint, and it's not even flowing while warm - it's like a goo. Like hot stable iron & wax flavored jello... or maybe chapstick? What did i do wrong? This is a total 100% fail! xoxxoxo

Gun Tossin, Twirling, Tricks

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I totally made the pom poms for my boots. and yes, I am totally gonna win the Biggest Dork award.
Also... if i can toss around a heavy 12 gauge shotgun like that, well - always call before coming over.



xoxoxox

A Walk In The Clouds

This is why they call them the Smokey Mountains. Sometimes I might spend half a day in the clouds, a thick white fog. In New Orleans it rolled off the river, here it rolls across mountain tops.

It can make the mundane, turn spooky and beautiful.

It can transform your driveway, into a portal of unknown destination.

It washes out everything behind you, and everything in front of you in a way I find much more soothing then the white of snow. This white haze is something I am familiar with, i love it the way i love the sounds of barges on the mississipi river and a train blowing it's horn.

(song of the day ::: Crave You .... i like how they switch lives. I wanna do that one day. Watch the video. )

XOXoxoxox

Cha Cha Cha Changes

Sometimes I want to change my life. It's possibly a habit I have developed over the years... made worse by changing seasons (which I did not experience growing up in the tropical south.)
But on this rainy PMS day, i have no clue what the change is i desire. Or no real way to plan it out.
When it is something simple like, 'i want to move' then i can look for a new house. When it is vague and lingering, almost nagging - it has no rules, it has no plans, it's only a strong desire that hasn't found a form.
*
I want things, that I dont know if i can have. And if I can have them, I dont know how i will get from point A to point B... although usually the dominoes keep falling on their own knocking the next day into the next without any effort on my part.

Xoxoxox

Organic Gardening = Making Groceries At Home

Even though it snowed last night, the sun came back out today - finally in a position to shine on the organic garden area! I decided it was time to get started on my spring/summer preparations... first, finish raking in the donkey poop I had been dumping over the fence all winter... and churning up the top soil & donkey poop I had layered into the garden beds last summer.

DONKEY POOP + TOP SOIL (removed from around the barn) = amazing black composted dirt !!!

I made a new garden bed too today! As ya'll can see, I dont go for the high class look in my garden... i use whatever i have around to build with (meaning no $$$ is needed, no store has to be driven to). Sticks, old lumber left over from building, and rocks are how I put it together --- and its filled with 100% donkey doo doo.

I had some hay that got moisture in it, and was no good to feed to the animals... so i started using that for my paths I walk on, in between garden beds.

In the pic below... are some of the semi-raised beds I have slowly been filling up. If you are not impressed with how it looks, take a look at the work I had to do to get it to this point...

click here ::: Flashback to A YEAR AGO!

Some of the donkey poop had grass seeds in it, that have begun to grow.

I weed it out, then give it back to JuJu and the chickens!! The hens looooove to run off with the whole clump of grass .... :))))

THINGS THAT CAME BACK! :::::

so my fall winter garden didn't work out at all, because i had the big depressing surprise of having no sun during that time of the year (due to the placement of the mountain ridges). But many of the things i planted during that time stayed alive under the snow, they didn't die when wind & temperatures hit -20 f ...

My dwarf fruit tree have survived! The pear, peach and cherry!

and in my gardens beds...

the kale! the spinach!

the carrots! the rutabaga!

and many herbs are poking their first leaves through the leaves and soil - oregano, parsley, thyme, mint, bee balm, comfrey, chives, lavender and sage!

Xoxoxo

DIY: Camo Shorts made into Camo SKIRT

I had found this pair of boys camo shorts at the thrift store sometimes last summer... it took until now for the strong detergent smells to actually be rain blasted out of them (on my clothes line!) ....
I was hoping to make camo short-shorts out of them, but i am actually not that skilled in sewing and they just didn't fit quite right to transform them easily (too much space in the crotch for boy junk!)
So here is a quick sewing trick you can use with boys shorts, your own shorts, old pants, thrifts jeans, etc....
It really is simple as 1,2,3 !!!
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STEP 1 ::
Cut off the legs of the shorts or pants to the length you want your skirt. (see pic above) You can make a knee length or tiny mini!
STEP 2 ::
Cut along the crotch seam. Then along the seams in the front a back...

STEP 3 ::

Fold the cut pieces over on top one another to create skirt shape (like inthe pic below, left folded over right). Sew along the new lines they makes, and cut off any excess from the bottom.

FINISHED!!!!!!!!!

Some majorly militia redneck shit going on here!..... i can't decide whether i would like to make my skirt shorter or not? Or maybe take in the sides?

Either way... hardcore!

XOxoxoxox

DIY: Bamboo & Organic Cotton Crochet Bikini

Usually I like to share projects that are super easy... but what i thought would be fairly simple because the bikini is so small, turned out to be a project that took me about 4-5 days!
I decided to use very thin, silky bamboo yarn and a very small crochet hook so that the stitches would be tight - in fact I did the entire thing in a SINGLE CROCHET (SC) stitch, even though I planned on putting an organic cotton lining on the inside. Which actually made the bikini itself a little bit more heavy then the wispy fly away fabrics we are used to wearing --- if i was to do this project again, i might make a loose fun patterned stitch (filet or shell or leaf) and use a dark colored lining.
But I am happy with what i got! Very cute and perfect for getting a good tan.
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I started out with 2 separate chains, for the bikini top - which would be able to tie in the front and tie in the back. On top the CHAIN (CH) I did a few rows of SINGLE CROCHET (SC), to add thickness. This would be the bottom of the bikini top.

The TOP::: this was really hard! Since i was not using a pattern, i had to test out at what rate I wanted to DECREASE (D) the SINGLE CROCHET (SC) in order to have my boobies actually covered! I had to pull my first triangle out and start over.

I added each triangle directly into the bottom straps I had already made. I left enough room for it to tie in the front between the two triangles, so that the bikini can adjust with not only weight changes, but also changes to the fabric (stretching, shrinking, etc)...

(see below)....

I used organic cotton, for the top straps and also for the inside lining....

the jersey style fabric has stretch and doesn't fray, making it really easy to work with.

At the top straps, i did a "no sew" experiment, and simply cut some slits into the bottom of the straps, used the back of a feather to push them through crochet holes.. and then tied the pieces together...

way cool trick!

Now the LINING :::

I did sew the lining in with a easy straight stitch on my sewing machine. (I think the "no sew" trick above could also be applied to the lining if done with style in mind.)

ahhhh, finished TOP!!! took me about 2 days or so....

The BOTTOM :::

I accidentally went a little skimpy on the front end, but its easy to add in stitches later along the outside border.... much easier then having to pull your work out and start over.

I used all SINGLE CROCHET (SC) stitches again, and also variations on the DECREASE (D) at the ends and beginnings of each row. The amount you will decrease, will depend on how big you want to make the bikini.

I used a well fit pair of panties to measure off of!!

(working on back end, to cover booty!)

THEN..... i crocheted the front and back pieces together.

(I made them separate because i am better at decreasing, then increasing stitches.)

and added the organic cotton lining, by sewing it in place...

FINISHEDDDDDDDD!!! .....

mostly! I am contemplating adding some SINGLE CROCHET (SC) stitches to the borders along the front sides.... um, for obvious reasons. ;)

(back view)

Now I need the sun and warmth to come back so i can try it on... and wear it till it's thread bare!
YAY!

*

(Will also try to take some pictures wearing it, when it's nice outside! I will add them to this post when i do.)

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UPDATE :::::::::::

pictures of the bikini!!!!!

on the phone with my mom ... (yep, i don't use a cell!)

Close up....

Skimpy.... but its fits good, and i will get a good tan this spring & summer!

Xoxoxox

Are Duck Eggs Yum Yum?

I decided to try my duck eggs, and OHhh MY GAWD! I am forever ruined. I will never really like a chicken egg the way I LOvEd the duck eggs, ever again.
The shells were harder to crack open, and when they did the biggest darkest yellow came gooping out into the pan. Perfectly firm, perfectly shaped. In fact, when i was cooking it, it held it's shape impressively better then chicken eggs - so i got to make two flawless "fried eggs" with the wet dippy middle! My favorite kind, that never seems to work out... until now.
*
The duck eggs taste soooo good, I could not believe how much richer, healthier, more dense, flavorful, and delicious they were ... it was like tasting what I always wished a chicken egg could be but had always fell a little short of being what i wanted.
Ok...
so basically, i fucking love duck eggs!!! mmm! If you have not tried them before, do it.
XOxoxox

Logging Truck, my special friend...

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Who everyone wants to get stuck behind when driving rural windy roads all the way into town!!!
LOGGING TRUCK!

This is my idea of taking mundane reality to new heights.
It almost gave me a headache in real life... so sorry if it gives a cyber one.



xoxoxo

On An Impulse : BUNNIES!

I am a 100% sucker. For fur, for fuzzy, for scared, for adorable, for baby animals...
I went to our local Farmers Co-op today to pick up some hay for JuJu the donkey, but when i got inside the building to pay there was a cage next to the counter full of little rabbits! The signs on the cage said were that they were "meat rabbits" and also "just in time for Easter"?? I didn't care, all i knew was i was going to take the two cutest ones home with me. Not for meat. And not for Easter.

The little solid black bunny was greatly loved by the woman at the check out counter who put them in a box for me and walked the box to my truck just to send her loving goodbyes to the terrified fuzz muffin. (Although she was incredibly sweet on the bunny, she made some off putting remark about naming it "little sambo"--- i always find this word to be racist. )

The black bunny is most friendly, the spotted one likes to thump his foot, zip around and send me signals of fear and loathing.

....

Even though in recent times i have started to lose the illusion that I am somehow saving animals from a worse fate (cause mainly how can i judge the fate of nature, really?) ... but still there is a part of me that wants to take all the animals home with me, love them all, make them all comfortable, make it so they have a peaceful life. Maybe it's a biological/maternal thing, they are all my babies , I really just can not help myself!

...

What would ya'll like to name the two bunnies? (NOT sambo (explained above)! and Salt & Pepper has been suggested!)

Xoxoxoox